Mom and I went for a walk by the Bronx River recently. She wanted to see some of the local places I like to photograph, before I go, so I showed her a couple of places that are easy for her to get to without having to drive.
While we were there, we met some geese, who were enjoying the nature walk with their little one. Some were skittish, but the majority seemed used to humans, and we’re quite friendly. This guy was really friendly.
He came right up to us, while my mom took a few pictures of the river. His head came up to my hip, when he stood up straight. He also didn’t mind being petted, though he seemed a little disappointed that I didn’t have any food on me. We spent a few minutes standing together, in a row and gazing at the river, before he walked calmly into the water for a swim.
They say that life is like a river. I agree.
The past few months have not been easy, but I think things will start to looking up soon. Many things have ended in such a short span of time. My contract at the school has ended. The supermarket, which funded my time in college and supplemented my salary until now, has closed down so that a high-rise could be built. My driving lessons have been put on hold. Brother has been working much more. Mom has been… well, mom. There may or may not have been a death in the family. I’ve graduated from college. My cat is getting brave enough to wander into the hallway of my apartment building. I’ve been sending out resumes like a mad woman.
My life’s river is twisty-tervy as hell.
Brother and I went walking again. This time it was a bit further along the Bronx River.
This area was more akin to a small forest than the last spot and had a cool little walkway under one of the bridges. The walkway was flush level with the water and the space between it and the bottom of the bridge was very small.
It was also very dark. From it, you could finally really see how deep the river is in some places (at least 5 feet). I loved it, my brother, not so much.
Brother and I want to go back when the fish start coming around again, since we think we can see them under the bridge, if we use flashlights.
Brother and I went for a walk along the parkway recently. We found this lovely little space, which seemed like something out of a fairytale.
We had seen the spot a few times while driving and I remember mentioning that I would like to see it up close, so Brother found a place where it was legal to park and we walked back to that spot.
It was even better up close!
There was an old beaten path off of the main one. That old path was erroded by the water, and an older bridge seems to have fallen into the river, but it was surrounded by so many little yellow flowers.
There were also little streams and waterways leading into the river.
I hope to come back here again, once the leaves come back to the trees, and again when they start falling. It’s sure to be a beautiful sight.
Wouldn’t it be so nice if we could let troubles and fears roll off our backs, like a duck does water?
I’ve spent a good portion of my life playing servant to anxiety, and missed a lot of opportunities for happiness pass me by. I pretended to be someone else to make my family like me, I lived in fear of regrets, I did things I’m not proud of in hopes to quell the hurt inside me. But I resolved to not let me fears get the better of me anymore.
Whatever will be, will be, and I will deal with things when and if they happen. Is it easy? No.
Do I make mistakes or falter? Yes, all the time. But I am human. I can only do my best and hope that at the end of the day it’s good enough.
Wouldn’t it be nice if all worries could flow off our shoulders like water off of a duck’s back? Yes, but that isn’t the way it works. You have to let go of it yourself. Burdens are heavy, and like to hold on tight, so you need to raise you hands and brush them off. Otherwise, they will cling and pile up until your knees scrape the ground.
I’ve always had a bit of trouble getting through the winter months without getting at least a little depressed. It’s so hard to go out and do things with friends (especially if one does not own a car), go for walks, or find a chance to celebrate during January and February.
Once March rolls around, there is setsubun (a soybean throwing holiday that signals the start of spring) you can at least start counting the days until the warm weather arrives. In April, it’s a countdown to May, mother’s day, and end of school year activities (like prom). June is always awesome, if only because of the weather and the end on another school year. July and August are summer vacation, the 4th of July, Obon, and the time for fireworks. September is a new school year and from October on, the countdown towards the holidays begin (at least if you live in the states).
There aren’t very many holidays in January or February, besides Valentine’s Day, which is only special to a particular percentage of the population. Sure, there are mini-holidays like certain Presidents’ birthdays, but there isn’t anything BIG going on. It’s just cold, snowy, and grey.