Changes

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This current job has been a roller coaster of epic proportions. In the beginning, I had thought I was applying to be a part-time tutor, in hopes of getting some experience in working with children. I was testing the waters to see if I really did want to work with kids for the rest of my life. What it has become is another thing entirely.

That isn’t to say that it’s a bad thing; just very different from what I imagined it would be. I’m constantly facing challenges and being forced to grow as a person. I’m making friends with people who I would have never otherwise associated with. I’m looking at things from a kid’s perspective and not that jaded one that has come with a difficult life. I’m no longer the person I was when I started.

That’s a good thing, right?

A lot of days, I look back at the person I was and try to pinpoint the days and events where I changed from that person, to the person I am at this moment. A lot of times, I might have an idea which sets of events caused me to “get outside my box,” but I have trouble narrowing it down further. Is this the same for everyone?

The school year will be ending soon and I wonder, what then? I know that I have to get a job with more hours and that pays a lot more than what I make now, but the future beyond the end of June is still fuzzy. My hope is for a full-time Monday through Friday job, so that I can finally quit my weekend job. I know that I want to travel a little, that I want to spend time in the sun and with friends. I know that I want to save up money to move away from New York.

Everything’s changing so much and so fast. I wonder where I’ll be this time next year and I wonder if I’ll be looking back in astonishment like I am now. Will I wonder how I got where I am or will I be too focused on just getting through the days?

I feel like a flower just about to bloom.

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Published by

renmi86

Photographer, Game Designer

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