Although I have often said that I wanted to be a teacher, I never gave any real thought to what that would entail. I imagined myself as a hodgepodge of the best parts of all my favorite teachers/mentors, who could just walk into a classroom and teach whatever subject effortlessly. I would kindle a love for reading, awaken one’s passion for at, or help someone speak fluently over the course of a semester and then Mary Poppins my way off to the next school that needed my help.
Reality isn’t that way at all.
I have no idea how to speak to children. I’ve screamed myself horse trying to keep these little guys from killing themselves or each other. I feel woefully underequiped to even help them with their homework. What am I doing here?! I’ve been asking myself this over and over.
I’ve gotten a hell of a wake up call in. The form of my 4th graders (I also sometimes help out with the kindergarteners and 2nd graders too if the need arises). But I’ve also gotten a bigger slap in the face from the school system in general. How does anything get done? How does anyone expect anything to get done?! This system is an absolute mess!!
I’d always heard the requests and debates on the need for more supplies and funding to public school in New York, but it wasn’t until now I truly understood. It’s like going out onto a battle field equipped with only a butter knife and a prayer.